I'm kind of sad. I guess it's because I don't like disappointing people; that makes it hard to be all cheerio and stuff. I wish I was a cheery person, but it's hard to smile sometimes. T_T I'm not trying to be depressing, but it's really a big disappointment when all the colleges you've applied rejected you. I mean I don't really care, but it's a big deal for parents right? I really fucked up. That year I could've been great, but I made mistakes that I'm very regretful of and now I'm paying the price for it. I keep telling myself that it was an all right experience, that it wasn't something I was going to regret over time. I thought I was just going to grow old and laugh about it later on, but it pisses me off that I was so stupid.
I should've said no, I shouldn't have looked him in the eyes the first day of school, I should've just walked away, but I couldn't, just because I thought I could save him. Only in the end, I ended up being dragged into the depths of hell with him. I hate myself for being an idiot. I really wanted to go to a great school for my parents, a school where I can be free yet save some money for the family, but now look at me. I want to rip my own hair out for my own idiocy.
4 options with one still pending... Please to the God that I hate so much, please let it be a miracle.
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