Through the Looking Glass

Next month is National Photographer Appreciation month and I originally wanted to save this piece for next month, but I wanted to write this down while it's still fresh in my mind. This entry is a combination of the dreaded "free work" for friends and family and the always controversial topic of expensive wedding photography. Some may not agree and some may be nodding their heads furiously knowing exactly what I'm talking about. But whatever stance you take, I hope you'll listen for bit because I found out just how important it was to always be true to yourself and your beliefs before you ruin a good relationship over work. I'll try and be as objective as I can, so bear with me.

Every now and then you'll see articles on couples asking why wedding photographers are so expensive and always asking  what most in the design industry consider "low balling" prices. Even I sometimes take photographers in general for granted thinking: "what a life they have, all they have to do is pick up a camera and shoot." I was ignorant to think photography was that simple. Especially in the wedding photography market. What makes everything more difficult is when friends and families ask for favors from photographers in terms of free photo shoots simply because they're so good at it and it'll be easy for them to come up with some great shots. This logic was applied to us: we were designers, so we must know how to shoot with a a DSLR.

This past weekend I was given the duty of being the wedding photographer at my friend's two day wedding. Plenty of things happened that was partially my fault but I ended up doing this gig with my boyfriend basically for free. Note that neither my boyfriend or I have any experience in candid portraits of people, especially weddings and wedding photos are pretty important to the family and the bride and groom. That made the entire experience even harder for us, at least for me because I of course wanted to do a good job, but I had no idea what I was doing and to be perfectly honest, 50% of my photos had people with their eyes closed (to which I deleted promptly going through them). I had to throw in extra effort and focus to make up for the lack of experience I had in this field and it was exhausting.

I struggled through the first day of the shoot always trying to follow the moment and it was hard, people were constantly moving and you had to have the eye to capture the moment before it happens to get the timing right. But the second day was even tougher than the first that I snapped and gave up half way through leaving my boyfriend out to dry and shooting most of the afternoon by himself. I normally wouldn't do this to an actual client, but when you're not getting compensated for your work, effort, blood, and sweat-- why try at all, right? 

The reception later that night was by far the hardest, the moment you want to sit down and rest someone wants their photo taken and you always had to be walking around to make sure you capture the moments with the bride and groom and their family. You were basically their shadow for the day. It was a mountain load of work and stress that was honestly undeserved and had already breached the max capacity of what a favor is considered. We always had to be there earlier than everyone else because we had to capture the in between moments, so we were waking up at 6:00 AM in the morning to prep their wedding shoots. To say the least, it was probably the most stressful weekend I have had this entire year.

Ideally, your friends would fully realize what they're asking and do their best to not act like a paying client. Unfortunately, this never happens. From the humbling experience of this past weekend I learned that I needed to stand up for myself, don't let other people's words sway against your own better judgement. The moment the situation was created I should've put my foot down and declined stating my own policies that I don't do free work as I've had this happen to me before. But sometimes as hard as you try to avoid these kind of circumstances, you find yourself in the grasp of "pro bono" work time and time again.

It's completely okay to say no to a friend, the sooner the better before it's too late and it bites you in the ass. Also, start taking up policies of not doing free work for friends and family if you know full well what they want and the work that it involves. Some may ask: What's the big? They're family, you ought to just push through with the gig. It's a big deal because it's become a problem. A designer/photographer/artists' time is not worthless. Our skills and experience are all worth something and shouldn't be handed out for free to everyone for the rest of our lives just because you're a friend or family member. It strains the relationships between people and it'll start feeling more like a shady business transaction rather than being an understanding and supporting family member or friend. What I would like to call: faux-relations. Instead friendships should be built through mutual trust and understanding.

This is just the tip of my story, I can go on for a few more paragraphs on the work that went into this wedding gig. But the gist of this is that wedding photographers are at your mercy always adjusting to your whims and wants on the spot, they are standing there all day shadowing your movements to get the most intimate of moments on camera, they will spend countless hours editing and picking photos through the dead of the night to get it to you on time. That's what you're paying for, their knowledge, know-how and labor. I know it's expensive, but they deserve it for all the effort it takes to becoming a good wedding photographer that makes your big day look as gorgeous as it should.

Conclusion: I definitely felt like I walked a mile in another's person shoes and the lesson was definitely learned. I have a new found appreciation for all my photography friends if this is what they have to go through after every shoot. Next time you see your photographer friend, give them a big hug. :)

Happy early National Photographers Appreciation Month!

Sticker Peelin'

When I got the Ninja 300 it was the special edition, and personally those special edition stickers were hideous. It really was one of the two reasons why I didn't want to buy it right off the market. I'm a bit aesthetic crazy when it comes to my bike. :| I remember taking the longest time to find my Ninja 250 because I refused to purchase any other color that wasn't white or black and at that time only bright ass colored 250s were for sale until 2-3 weeks into looking a black one popped up, etc, etc. Happily ever after, right?

BUT I digress, it was mentioned that the SE stickers were peelable so we did some research and found that it was pretty easy from what we can see. Now remember I'm no expert on this, all I am doing is sharing my experience on taking the stickers off the bike. Some people advised on using a heat gun, well I didn't heat gun so I used the next best thing: a blowdryer. Trust! It worked just fine (use in high heat).

1. Look at this hideous sticker...

I took the blowdryer and placed it over the stickers until it had this gummy and soft texture, had to be careful after burning my fingers a few times.

2. Blowdryer

Once it's soft, it easily came off the bike-- but you have to take it slow once you actually start peeling it or else the adhesive won't completely come off. But you can always take Goo Gone to it after, but that's just extra work and I'm relatively lazy. I would rather go slow and save myself some time.

3. Peel slowwwly.

I still managed to leave some small dabs of adhesive, but I just took some Goo Gone to it and it came off clean. Ta-da! All done! It was super easy, tedious, but easy.

4. Use some Goo Gone if adhesive left.

All clean and pretty! Off to get some vinyl work done. :)

Chicken & Scrambled Eggs

I suppose the downside of eating healthier or even when you stop eating something altogether and you go back to it once, your stomach likes to fight it. Maybe that's just me? /squints. For example: If I consume too much bread, dairy, or just grease in general (deep dried stuff), I get freakishly bloated and stomach pains starts to settle at night. Then the next morning I get a 100% guarantee trip to the restroom.

Every now and them I still allow myself to eat things like doughnuts or a piece of bread, but in moderation of one small bite or so or else I end up facing the wrath of my stomach. But you know you what I don't regret making this decision. At all. So what if I can't eat rice, noodles, pasta, or deep fried Oeros? I have my own arsenal of snacks and delicious recipes. #NoRagrets. It's all about finding that balance and coming to realization what you're giving up and if you're willing to give it up to become a better you.

Here was day #3 of my health journey:

Eggs has become my best friend... Get them brotein!

Happy Eating!
~Kitty

Bunless Burgers

The thing about being overweight is that you don't notice yourself gaining weight and realize that you're actually getting pudgy. At least that was true for me. You tell yourself pretty little lies like "Oh, I know I'm not fat" or "There's no way I'm overweight" It wasn't until I decided I really needed to weigh myself to truly see where I was and this was a tough feat. I guess somewhere deep, deep, deep down I had known all along that I wasn't as healthy as I should be and had started to develop this intense fear of weighing myself. I finally gathered up the courage to step on the scale.

As of August 2013 I was a hefty weight of 147 pounds.

It was mindboggling at the amount of weight I had gained since entering college. Something had to be done. I decided I needed to change the way I ate, especially given that I hated going to the gym (I preferred doing sports). I took up the challenge of going paleo for a month. This was the initial challenge. It wasn't easy the first few days, but it actually got easier as time progressed. It's been over a year now that I've begun this journey. What started as a month challenge I decided to make a life commitment. I'm proud to say that I've shed 40 pounds from learning to choose the make the right decisions. :)

Day #2 Meal:




















The recipe can be found two posts down if you're interested in making it at home!

Happy Eating!
~Kitty

About Staying Healthy...

I feel like... I need to use this blog more. :| If it wasn't for sheer laziness, I think I would. Well, maybe not laziness, more so... I feel like blogging time could be put to better use like walking the dogs or something. I'm just not dedicated enough. -_- #LameExcuse #FTW.

But I'm here to clarify a few things that people has been asking me a lot about. And I mean a lot. Like serious a lot. "How do you stay so skinny? Must be those good genes!" or "How'd you lose so much weight? Must be good genes!" Please. You might as well just stop now, turn around and walk away. If that was that easy I would've gotten this done a long time ago. Everyone seems to use that 'gene' excuse as if it held the secrets of the world when it comes to staying healthy and fit. Let me you, it's fucking not. It's about dedication, sweat, and most of all will power. Are you willing to make a lifestyle change? No? That's really your loss.

People also have a tendency to to blame their genes for being overweight, I know there's a fine line between those people who really do suffer from weight problems because of it, but I have also seen people abusing that excuse as a reason not to be healthy. I'm not sorry to say that I don't believe in 300 pound 'curvy women', I just don't. You only get one chance at this, make every second count. Why would you want to destroy your body? My thoughts exactly.

I'll admit it I've never had super overweight problems before, but I did reach an astounding 147 pounds at one point in my life last year and I was only 5'3". I was terrified of looking at the scale because I knew I was getting to the point where I was disappointed in myself. I wasn't working out and I had a pretty bad diet to go along with it. I knew something had to change or else I was going to drown. I started working out 6 times a week and made some muscle gains, but my appetite went through the roof. With this I was actually gaining MORE weight than I had anticipated. After 4-5 months of working out, I needed another option. Around this time a friend (Thanks, Gabe! LOL) actually introduced me to a diet called 'the paleo diet' named after cavemen diet of veggies, nuts, and meat only. No bread, wheat, dairy, rice, and processed sugar (as opposed to natural sugar like fruits). I didn't honestly didn't think I would be able to pull through, I love carbs way too much. I was scared, but I told myself 'fuck it, lets do it!'.

The first week was tough, but once I got the ball rolling it was surprisingly easy. Saying no to rice and pasta was merely a wave of the hand and I found myself craving healthy food. I stopped drinking (serious excess calories, but red wine every now and then is actually good for the heart ;) ). Junk food actually started giving really bad stomaches (I broke out in hives once from eating greasy KBBQ) and that was when I decided to just make a lifestyle change, it was much easier to just eat healthy then having to stay on the toilet for hours on end because of a cupcake I wanted to eat for dessert. Not that I don't treat myself every once in while because it's good to treat yourself, it'll keep the cravings away. I've been on this diet for about nine months but it only took the first four and half months for me to shed 32 pounds, the rest was about maintaining the weight.

It gets easier, but it's never 100% easy. Watching friends eat whatever they want is hard, still is. It's a battle everyday to say no to other things like ice cream and milk (I love milk :( and most dairy products) but I push through. I literally have to shove that motherfucker of a thought off the edge of the cliff to get it off my mind, so no, it's not my genes. The amount of will power and dedication that I have put into being healthier is what got me to my goal. So don't ask me how I stay fit when you're buying a handful of chocolate bars and chugging down two Rockstars, don't tell me it's my genes when you're shoving a fried twinkie down your throat. At the end of the, it's the choices that you make that shapes who you are. Literally and figuratively.

I'm not saying my decision is the only path you can choose, but rather everyone has their own goals, mine was simply to lose weight and be healthier, other people's goals range from being fit and build muscles to just toning out, but these all take a lot of dedication and will power. The question you have to ask is: Are you up for it?

Happy Eating!

♥ Kitty

A New Year with Protein Burgers

It's a new year! Happy belated new year to you all and hope you all had a wonderful holiday! :) I'm hoping for great things in 2014, one of them being able to blog more and continue this fascinating adventure I've taken in 2013 in search of a better and healthier lifestyle. I'm quite proud to say that I've lost tremendous weight being relatively average in size through making smarter choices in picking what I eat. Now that the holidays are over it's back to better eating healthier again! I've been feeling the full force of holiday dinners and parties for the last 31 days and they are not pretty. But it's back on track from here. :)

There are certain things I've learned in the last five months in taking control of what I ate and I have to say that eating healthy is really tough in this society. The fact that we have so much fast food chains every few steps it's tempting not to go in and order a large hamburger with fries and a soda, plus it's convenient for most consumers. People! There are great alternatives to eating such high calorie foods by swapping some of the ingredients out for something else. For me, since I love burgers I have them protein styled. Making them at home is so simple and easy with just a few ingredients it makes for a great meal.

Protein Burger
Ingredients:
90% and above lean ground beef is most desirable
Worchester Sauce
Salt & Pepper
Onion Powder
Romain Lettuce
Tomatoes
Onions

Many places that offer protein burgers usually wraps the burgers in Iceberg Lettuces. In all honesty, that is a big no-no in my book. Iceberg lettuce while shape works great in a lot of situations lacks flavor and texture, nutritional value, and overall sustainability in your fridge. Compared to iceberg, romaine has five times more vitamin C and a hundred times more beta carotene. I take the large leaves of romaine, wash them and cut them in half and use those as my buns.

As for the meat we use ground beef, before shaping them we drizzle Worchester sauce, I don't use a spoon, we eyeball when we cook. About three to four seconds of drizzling of the sauce should work for a medium sized bowl of ground meat. After we put in the salt and pepper and onion powder. We use grinder salt and pepper from Costco and we use about four turns when making our protein burgers. Then we shape them into balls the size of an average fist as the patty shrinks when cooked. The tomatoes and onions can be cut however you like them to be. Once the patty is cooked, place them on the lettuce, dab on the vegetables and voila! A hearty hamburger! I normally also eat them with yam fries on the side from time to time. :)

Eat smarter. Healthier life. Happy eating!
~Kitty

To the Girl Who's Drowning

A comment wasn't enough because I had to tell you more.

You are gorgeous. I wish you can see that about yourself. I wish you can see the potential that I see in you. But you don't. Instead you take each and every part of yourself and rip it to pieces until it seems like nothing is worth living for. Not even your own self-worth when that really is all that matters. All I ever wanted to say was have a little self-confidence, bring those lips to a genuine smile and for once be happy for yourself. Not for him, not for them, not for anyone else, but yourself. The chance at life should be enough to give you a reason to breath.

Bad things happen, we get hurt, you got hurt. I may not know what it is nor would I probably understand the true depth of the pain you feel, but you've let it eat you alive already. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? Knowing that you've lost before you've even put up a fight? As you've said, "put up a fucking fight". I know you're better than that. You are better than that, don't let your bad past define who you are in the future, don't let it destroy your happiness because I can see it festering inside your heart, the sleepless nights and the way you curl yourself away from the world-- unmoving and vulnerable. I can only reach my hand to you so far and say that I can relate, it's a terrible place to be-- in that endless void of a hole where it seems like time is endless and day and night begin to sound and look the same... But at some point you're going to have to crawl out of that misery and start rebuilding that broken heart of yours.

To love a person means also learning to compromise, to love is to be vulnerable. It also means you're going to get hurt. A lot. A little. Different circumstances. Love is a gamble and a risk. Just because you gave them your whole world doesn't mean they're going to return that favor to you. You give them 200% and they can still take your heart wring it ever so slowly until it breaks to a million pieces then proceed to dump it a boiling pot of salt water. It's a harsh reality. But we take that leap anyways because for that brief moment of happy bliss, we are satisfied. But if and when it stops, you get your heart broken, you cry, you're going to get angry, but after move on. Things aren't going to get any better if you stay locked up forever in your room. If you want to change something, you're going to have to actually get off your ass and make it happen.

He never stopped loving you, he wanted it to work. The way he told us when he came to us, broken, dejected, and just plain exhausted, he said "I really thought she was the one," He just couldn't physically do it anymore. Coming back from work only to stay up with you every night because you couldn't sleep. He'll manage two-three hours of sleep before going back to a 8-10 work day. It was wearing him down, couldn't you see he was falling apart? In the process of keeping his promise to take care of you, his own health was put into compromise. He's sacrificed so much to be with you and yet you say he never loved or cherished you is a lie. Relationships is a two way street, you take care of each other, not just one person forever protecting the other.

You said that if a person truly loved someone, they'll let them go is total bullshit. It isn't entirely bull, you can't stop yourself from moving forward just for love or else you're going to be stuck. It may be a happy moment you want to keep forever, but it'll only suffocate and wither just like a flower if you feed it too much water. It'll drown. You have to give it space to grow and be better. He had a life to live. He had a career he wanted to think about, a future, especially a future with you in it. But you didn't want to let go of the beginning moments when everything was still new and thrilling. You were essentially stuck afraid to move on with him. He let you go because you needed to learn how to stand on your own two feet without relying on him. He felt like you were denigrating by being with him, you were becoming heavily dependent on him that you forgot to be independent. On your own. He just wanted you to be strong, yet you weren't letting yourself...

You gotta learn to let go... Live and be happy.