-My fingers are cold and numb from the sudden drop of the temperature, the weather has been fluctuating none stop for the last week. It's getting quite irritating, really. I've put extra mattresses onto the bed for extra warmth at night, since the heater dries out my throat leaving me sore the next morning. Trust me, it gets colder in the morning as I wake for zero period and drag myself to class.
I'm trying my best to type out these words without failing to miss the keyboard from the numbness that's crawling into the whole of my hand. Gentle words of the 'Requiem' flows into my ears from the mp3 that sits next to me in its blinking glory telling me that it needs to be charged from being used too often. I ignore the signal for now, as my attention is drawn over the screen, I had to write it down so I can remember.
The voices outside is drowned out with the door closing, meaning dinner is finally over. The people and guests were leaving, while I'm sitting here and leafing through old posts. It's really strange you know, to watch yourself fall from the edge of the cliff and thrash in the waters below. It's frightening and all the same very amusing. That's the feeling I get when I go through all my older posts in this blog, I guess I stopped because I didn't want to remember all those horrible times that I went through. I was so stupid and blinded back then that I allowed myself to fall short of what I really deserved. It was like I was a complete different person from the one that's typing this right now, my mind is blank and silent from all the words that's already been typed.
I had thought about deleting all the older posts that reminded me of the past and start anew, but I couldn't bring myself to throw away all those feelings that's been written down here in this blog, so for now I'm leaving it as it is. (I'd probably get rid of my otaku moment one though... T_T).
I'm not going to let myself slip through the chances anymore, this is my life and there's no one that can tell me how to live it. But still, the pressure of college acceptance is riding on my back. I didn't even make it to Cal Poly... because my math score for SATs weren't high enough! Dear lord, what am I suppose to tell my mom? She's going to freak- I mean if I can't even pass Cal Poly how the HELL am I suppose to get into the UC schools?! DDD; I'm so dead.
Warmth and feeling is flowing back into my hands, grandma must've turned on the heater... Which mean a dry throat for me in the morning. Oh well, I'll live. I've decided for now that's all that I have to write down, my thoughts are done for the night. I'm glad that there's place where I can structure my thoughts for the day. No wonder I had come to like blogging so much. I swirl the chocolate in my mouth, the little square piece of candy made out of cocoa. Delicious. (:
(Forgot to mention that Paul is a cutey from class, :]. Why is he so adorable? I don't know, maybe it's his eyes.)
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