To the Girl Who's Drowning

A comment wasn't enough because I had to tell you more.

You are gorgeous. I wish you can see that about yourself. I wish you can see the potential that I see in you. But you don't. Instead you take each and every part of yourself and rip it to pieces until it seems like nothing is worth living for. Not even your own self-worth when that really is all that matters. All I ever wanted to say was have a little self-confidence, bring those lips to a genuine smile and for once be happy for yourself. Not for him, not for them, not for anyone else, but yourself. The chance at life should be enough to give you a reason to breath.

Bad things happen, we get hurt, you got hurt. I may not know what it is nor would I probably understand the true depth of the pain you feel, but you've let it eat you alive already. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? Knowing that you've lost before you've even put up a fight? As you've said, "put up a fucking fight". I know you're better than that. You are better than that, don't let your bad past define who you are in the future, don't let it destroy your happiness because I can see it festering inside your heart, the sleepless nights and the way you curl yourself away from the world-- unmoving and vulnerable. I can only reach my hand to you so far and say that I can relate, it's a terrible place to be-- in that endless void of a hole where it seems like time is endless and day and night begin to sound and look the same... But at some point you're going to have to crawl out of that misery and start rebuilding that broken heart of yours.

To love a person means also learning to compromise, to love is to be vulnerable. It also means you're going to get hurt. A lot. A little. Different circumstances. Love is a gamble and a risk. Just because you gave them your whole world doesn't mean they're going to return that favor to you. You give them 200% and they can still take your heart wring it ever so slowly until it breaks to a million pieces then proceed to dump it a boiling pot of salt water. It's a harsh reality. But we take that leap anyways because for that brief moment of happy bliss, we are satisfied. But if and when it stops, you get your heart broken, you cry, you're going to get angry, but after move on. Things aren't going to get any better if you stay locked up forever in your room. If you want to change something, you're going to have to actually get off your ass and make it happen.

He never stopped loving you, he wanted it to work. The way he told us when he came to us, broken, dejected, and just plain exhausted, he said "I really thought she was the one," He just couldn't physically do it anymore. Coming back from work only to stay up with you every night because you couldn't sleep. He'll manage two-three hours of sleep before going back to a 8-10 work day. It was wearing him down, couldn't you see he was falling apart? In the process of keeping his promise to take care of you, his own health was put into compromise. He's sacrificed so much to be with you and yet you say he never loved or cherished you is a lie. Relationships is a two way street, you take care of each other, not just one person forever protecting the other.

You said that if a person truly loved someone, they'll let them go is total bullshit. It isn't entirely bull, you can't stop yourself from moving forward just for love or else you're going to be stuck. It may be a happy moment you want to keep forever, but it'll only suffocate and wither just like a flower if you feed it too much water. It'll drown. You have to give it space to grow and be better. He had a life to live. He had a career he wanted to think about, a future, especially a future with you in it. But you didn't want to let go of the beginning moments when everything was still new and thrilling. You were essentially stuck afraid to move on with him. He let you go because you needed to learn how to stand on your own two feet without relying on him. He felt like you were denigrating by being with him, you were becoming heavily dependent on him that you forgot to be independent. On your own. He just wanted you to be strong, yet you weren't letting yourself...

You gotta learn to let go... Live and be happy.