There's a story hidden in the folds of the books that no one ever gets to see, a part of the book that no one notices. I myself hadn't notice it till I discovered it in the books of an antique library. I pull out the book from the dusty shelf and pry it open with my delicate hands. I could see that the pages were worn and yellowed from time and water damage, but that was alright I could still make out the words. The very fine delicate words that were carefully written across each page. I skimmed through the beginning and landed in the middle where the magic happened, there creased in the middle was a picture of a boy with his arms around a girl's shoulders. They were smiling and hugging each other, at first glance they could've easily been mistakened for lovers. But I knew better.
I've read and reread the story who knows how many times, but I never got tired of it. The secrets that they have taught me were invaluable. Things that I probably would've skipped out on if I hadn't been careful. I pointed to a particular line that said: "Let me tell you a story, a story of a girl..." that was when the smoke hissed itself from the pages and descended its way around me, wrapping it's tentacles in my mind. The basement disappeared and my soul landed in 19th century London.
"Let me tell you a story, a story of a girl. She doubted everything around her, her life and her friends. She looked out as if the world was covered in a mass of black and gray and she didn't know where to turn. She just walked in complete circles hoping that was enough, she wanted to be the person that everybody could love and adore- She wanted to shine like those around her.
Along the way she made so may outter characters that she soon realized that the actual her has disappeared and she wondered where'd it go to. Finally, she didn't want to hide behind the hard outter character that she formed- the person everyone knew her to be because once in a while she wanted to wear frilly, girly things too. She wanted to be herself, but she didn't know that that was her wish until finally it hit her and she wished one night to become her would-be self, the girl that she truly wanted to be. To be reborn again so she could start over and be her REAL- self.
The outgoing girl that once shined long ago within the star filled skies, she shined when no one was looking because she was afraid that people would know that she's insecure and shy. The girl that spoke out with no hesitation and second thoughts; she didn't know how to release her pressure. Until she met this girl with golden eyes that radiated with the utmost joy especially when she was with her friends. Within this group of friends this boy who loved sports and did the craziest things said something that hit her the most. He told the disoriented girl that is was okay to feel confused and it was okay to not know who you were and what your future is going to be because that's the fun of things when you don't know, because then you can be whoever you want to be.
Now she knows, and she's not afraid anymore, to not understand about some things in life because she has her whole life in front of her to find who she really is and be whoever she wanted to be. She has the freedom to search and reach out to grasp her dreams and her goals. Her wishes are all there before her and all she has to do right now is be herself then maybe one day, she can become her would-be self.. the girl that wasn't afraid to meet new people, the girl that isn't afraid to let her voice be heard. At least this is a start for her journey.. it's the just the beginning for her... And for once she's happy to be herself, the real her."
My senses came back and I took a long intake of breath before exhaling, my mind swam back from the words that floated itself into my head. I closed the book and gave myself a little smile, every time I open this book, it's always a different story.
[ありごと...あむ-ちゃん] (:
